The Simple Mistakes Of The English Language

Dunce Hat.

I could rock that hat.
Fine, fine, fine. I know I am capable of learning so that hat analogy doesn't quite fit, but damn I need an editor, google and a dictionary most of the time. Even for the most simplest things. I question my texts, my twitter, my facebook entry. You want to know why I say entry and not status? Because what the eff is plural for status?! Statuses? I have to break out Google already and I haven't even made it past the first paragraph.

Their, there, they're are not my problem; no that mountain has been... scaled? See, I need google and an editor. It's getting scarier with every birthday.  

It is tuff getting old, but I am tough.  

See what I did there. Is it possible I am the only person who does not recall tuff/tough being taught in English?

I mean, tuff even has the squiggly line that I rely upon. I can't rely on anything now but google because it was what got me though my moment of 'WTF'

Is there anything else I need to know?

I mean, out of the 7 books I have published, how many have I incorrectly used the word tuff/tough. It is tuff to say.

Note the below pic does NOT show TOUGH or TUFF

Editing essentials

Editing essentials

*Coffee. Lots and lots of coffee. If at all possible, intravenously.

* If you need background television or music. Nothing new. Nothing exciting. Something you have seen or heard a gazillion times so that it wont pull you from your story. David Attinburough or food network, not the latest episode of Outlander or the new Avengers movie.

*Facebook ban. oooh, this one is the doozie! Facebook is a trap, an Abyss even. Stay away from that while editing. Sorry, +Mark Zuckerberg you are on the scarlet letter at this point.

*Lets go with some more of that coffee, yeah.

*Time blocks. Set aside manageable time blocks for editing and life. I work better with one hour intervals. Edit for an hour then get up and wash the dishes, walk the dog, check the mail, shower. But don't get carried away. I'm not saying to spring clean in your breaks, just stretch your legs and get some crap done.

*DON'T READ! It is easy to get caught up in other author's stories and this can effect your progress as well as your own voice. Set aside the new book you want to read for a reward when you finish each round of edits so you can be fresh for the next round.

*The above lesson also applies to +The Walking Dead +The Vampire Diaries and +Supernatural series. There are plenty more addictive series which I ban myself from, but you get my drift. I have lost days on a tv series binge.

*Um, yes, blogging is also on the above list. I need a 12 step program. I need to go. I was never here

It's mop up time- editing 101

Yep, it is that time again. You would think the first round of edits are the worst. It's where you see 

discrepancies like eye colour, repeated phrases, or in my case, August is NOT hunting season.

Hopefully you don't find anything major. But this is a great time to see your work as one piece and not minutes here and word sprints there.

For the first part of my project, I had wrote it over a few times, never happy with it until I remembered my own advice which I had out often to other writers- Write that beautiful mess and mop up the mess later. 

I actually think I give this speech every time, but it never gets old, there's always someone out there who needs it. So from then, I gave it my best shot.

But it isn't the first load of edits I dread, no. It is the last couple, where you hate even seeing the words because you have read your own work over and over again. There's no surprises and suddenly you are looking out your magic with a scrutinising eye that it ends up losing that magical feeling. By this point I doubt my talent... right up until I get my first email or review and the miracle of someone elses words are what makes it all worth while. 

Now I know you are all thinking that it has taken me a couple of years to write the sequel to Never Goodbye, but I had to mop up some life messes along the way too.

I wrote another book under an alias, which was bigger than I expected but awesome all the same, but it was my daughter who needed my help. Once we were on track, the writing juju was back.

What does this mean for the Albany Boys? It means we are on our way to publication and will hopefully be out in time for the Christmas holidays so that you can see what has happened to Harper and Vaun, but more importantly, read all about April and Carter this time. 

Look out for more news here or on my facebook.

Happy reading

Kez

Russia, Your Rock

It's quite obvious I have been absent. Tsk Tsk. Family illness plus double alias writing does that. But my Russian audience has spiked. Almost double my U.S readers.

You guys must have loved your part in The Moore Justice Series?

Thanks for hanging in there Russia!

Author Claims Google On Her Tax

When in doubt, google it. That's been my motto since... well since 1998. Thank you +Larry Page and +Sergey Brin. Why am I blogging something so random?

Let me start from the beginning then.

When I first began writing google wasn't around. That statement alone makes me feel old. So I wrote from my imagination, from what I had seen on TV and movies, from what I have read over the years. This limits what you can write without travelling, reaching out to organisations and the good old encyclopedia (for you young ones, that is the book version of an accurate wikki.)

What did this mean for my writing... um less specifics and more assumptions, less details and more putty.

Now, thanks to google I write crime with body parts and guns and bullets and drugs with specifics! I write love stories in places I have never been to. I have made wonderful friends thousands of miles from home but never met face to face before. All thanks to Google and the internet. I guess you can thank facebook and +Mark Zuckerberg for the friends part, but you get the gist.

This is where I get to the point of the post. Here in Australia it is tax time. It is the time where I have to explain to my tax agent, whom I pay $400 well earned dollars to sort my finances out, why it is I wish to claim some dosh back from the government. Her assistant calls me Friday and wants to know how much I truly use my internet for Author purposes. Um, I say, I don't think I could possibly write without google research. It stays open for research as well as when I know what word I'm after but only google can sort my shit out. 

He says, can you give me a percentage? 

Um, I chortle before continuing, I don't know math but how about I throw it to you like a problem solver. If I was to write for one hour a day, at least I hope to, and then email and social media for an hour, what would the percentage be over a year?

He laughs and says, does fifty percent sound fine?

I'm happy with that.

There has been many a time where I thought if I were to be audited how would I prove what I use, there has also been many a time where I feared home security or the ATF would burst through the door and arrest me because my google searches suggest I am a serial killing, date drugging, romantic gun trafficker.

I wonder if I could claim a lawyer for tax purposes. 

I'll have to google it.